It's funny...the first day that I feel well after a sickness here has notoriously (both times now) been among the very best of days that I've been here. When I'm sick, I get homesick. And make no mistake, I am frustrated, in a foul mood, angry that I can't be at the hospital, etc., etc. Then, just like that, the sun goes down, I sleep off the sickness, and the sun comes back up. And, boy, did it come up today (not literally...really, it rained buckets all day long and flooded all the streets...but gave everyone a break from the intense heat of the past few days in the process).
I walked into the LAU this morning to say "hello" since I had been out sick for a few days and I was received very warmly, as usual, by the patients and family members populating the room. They asked, as ALWAYS, for me to photograph the new residents to the recently vacated beds. Of course, I would photograph them! So I did. I have to say, I still didn't get that feeling (photographers, you know that feeling!) that I had really gotten something great. But I can only imagine what having those photographs means to the families that come through there. And if I never get the images I need to host an exhibit when I return to San Francisco I think it's okay. I'm beginning to realize that it's much more important that these parents have images of their children than it is whether or not I have an image that a rich art buyer wants to hang on their wall. This experience, for me, is trumping everything I've ever done...every accomplishment I've ever thought I've made...every single frivalous thing I ever thought was important. I could walk away tomorrow and feel fulfilled, satisfied. But, at the same time, the thought of walking away seems heartbreaking. And I'm thankful that "walking away" from this isn't something I have to burden myself with thinking about now. Right now, I can just be in it...in every moment....and I am - more than I've ever been a part of anything in my life.
So....by the end of the day...I was photographing in the IPD (in-patient dept.) of the hospital. And I got that feeling (photographers, you know that feeling!). TWICE! Yep. Got the feeling twice. Was a good day. A really good day.
All that being said...all that goodness aside...working everyday doing the same thing can get very monotonous and depressing if you let it. It's important to mix it up! It's important and immerse yourself as much as possible in order to keep things moving...to keep a constant flow of change...to "stay on your toes" as they say (whoever "they" are). So...I am thankful also that I've been given a project to work on in addition to working with the children and photographing:
I'm in the middle of illustrating an educational oral health coloring book for the children here in Cambodia (specifically, for the hospital - but they are planning on publishing the book and possibly distributing it as there is currently nothing like it on the market here and there is DEFINETELY a need for it!). I can't really go into specifics about the problems these children have with oral hygiene, or the further problems that those problems cause, but let me just say, it's nothing I've ever seen before or ever even knew was possible. The coloring book is coming along very well and the higher-up's are extremely pleased with what I've brought them so far...which really was pleasing to me. It is also very nice to feel I am doing more to help the children in this country...not just the children who come through the hospital doors. It is a joint effort between the executive of education, myself, and a few of the dental surgeons. And it's been interesting working with them on what may be interesting illustrations (think elephants and pigs with toothbrushes). What's the matter? Never pictured a pig with a toothbrush? They need clean teeth too, you know? ;)
